I got a question from a client who got ghosted by a dude she was hanging out with. After three weeks with no contact, she sent him a goddam heart emoji!
Now, this is human nature. It happens to every single one of us. When this happens to you, your dignity is what’s going to keep things in order. You can’t just take them back. Your dignity in dating is what will keep you sane.
When a girl flakes on me once, and then twice, I can’t ask her out anymore. That’s dignity. it allows you to say no when people try to bullshit you.
Since the guy made her feel bad, she wanted him to react to her. So I told her to hurt his ego. The way to do this is to tell him you don’t like his personality. Personality is very personal to every person. When somebody doesn’t like your personality, that’s an insult to everything about you.
My client said that she was able to do this even though it was hard. Why is it hard? Maybe you’re just not used to it. Doing it is a bit harsh. Unfortunately, this is the kind of approach you need to have in order to survive in this dating world. I don’t necessarily like it but it’s what you need.
In her case, this was already too late. When someone ghosts you, you don’t contact them. When someone says they will contact you and they don’t, then don’t contact them.
At this point, walking away would be her only option. Why? Because you need some dignity. Walking away is the power that you have. Let me tell you this: the best way to lose your power is to not be willing to walk away.
The best way to lose a negotiation is not being willing to walk away. The best way to lose at poker is not being willing to walk away. In life, you gotta be willing to walk away.
If it’s over, you gotta suck it up. if he comes back, you can’t just take him back.
As soon as you’re able to accept that this is not gonna work out, you’ll be able to move on. If you can’t control your emotions, delete the number and block it. That way, you will not have that temptation.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.