What do you do when a man leaves you? It's a question that I don't get asked often but should be asked a lot more often. A lot of times you don't notice that you're broken. It's kind of when you go through depression. You don't notice you're depressed until you get out of the depression and then you realize how deep inside the rabbit hole you really were.
The reason why you realize it now is contrast. It’s like my teeth appearing whiter because I’m dark-skinned. You don’t notice how broken you are until you snap out of it and he happens to break up with you. Your life changes and then you see how fucking crazy you are. You realize that you're in that cycle of addiction. Now you have the guilt of being that girl you never wanted to be. You never wanted to be a girl who gets played.
It’s like when I tried to stop smoking weed. I didn't notice how dependent I got until I tried to stop. I felt resistance inside.
The reason why you were left broken is you disconnected from yourself. You want this person's validation so much that you forgot about what makes you happy. You were so focused on making him happy because you thought you were the reason for his happiness.
The first thing you have to do when you’re left broken is to get your body moving. Either hit the gym or just get your body moving. That's what I do. I make videos, play basketball, or draw.
Start moving mentally. Don't be stagnant with the past. It's like stagnant water becoming stale. Bacteria starts to grow. When you start experiencing negative thought patterns, you tend to enforce them and they get deeper. They become a part of your character.
You should reconnect with yourself. One of the first ways to do this is to reconnect with the present moment. If you want to do that, watch a video of mine on how to accept yourself. Who you are is what has always been on your mind. Who you are is what has always been there and that has never changed.
The second way to reconnect with yourself is by connecting with your calling as a person. When you love someone, you forget about yourself. You might even throw away your goals and dreams for the sake of making that person happy. The more you try to please them, the more you put yourself last. This is not limited to self-care but also putting your goals on the side.
When things don't work out, what will happen is you get resentful because you've put in so much effort and nothing has returned. One of two things might happen. One, you say ‘I'm too deep into this so I'm not going to let this one go.’ Two, you realize you're not getting anything out of it so you'll just leave.
You have to find something that you enjoy first. Think back to the things that you did that captured your attention. Recall something that made you feel excited when you woke up.
When anything happens, I tend to lose myself in drawing. immerse yourself. Do that one thing that you enjoy.
You will eventually develop a routine that allows you to calm down and relax. The key to keeping that routine is to have natural inclinations. It may not be art for you but go find it out for yourself. Look deep inside of you. Notice the things that you enjoy and the things that you hate.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.