I made a video on what makes you self-conscious in public. A client recently asked me to secretly listen in on her date. Before the date, I could already sense this nervous energy about her. She smiled at people, but it was her way of dealing with anxiety.
If you want your mind to calm down, give it something repetitive that it can focus on. It could be focusing on your breath or your next task.
The reason why your mind is scattered when you're around people is you're not focused. Your mind is looking for something to identify with. What it does is it looks to other people's opinions. It looks to other people to tell you if what you're doing is correct.
The reason you do that is you’re not focused on your purpose. When you're focused on a task, you don't feel self-conscious. You don't think about what other people think of you. You're at the moment.
Find your purpose. Have you ever been so obsessed with something that you can't get distracted from it? Just recently, I was in the cafeteria doing some work. When three girls passed by, I didn't notice them. I was so consumed by my work.
It takes time, but you really need to find your purpose in life. For some people who chose their purpose to be a mother, their focus is all about how to make their kids’ lives better. Knowing your purpose empowers you. When you keep thinking about what people think of you, that means you don't have a goal. Having intensity to achieve your goal produces a certain level of concentration. It's very difficult for people to take you out of it. When your focus is on your purpose, your body gets alive. It feels right.
You have clarity and know exactly what to do. Having personal pride only comes through finding your purpose. If your purpose is to be a good parent, you express your purpose by being a diligent parent. You're responsible for doing the labor.
It's about expressing yourself. Looking at Kobe Bryant, you'll know that his game is an expression of himself. My expression is I bring spirituality to dating advice.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.