People in general don't have a concrete vision of their lives. If this is the case with you, you would let people tell you what you want.
When your friend suddenly gets a boyfriend, you’ll think you want to have a boyfriend too. Your loneliness is now directing you toward a relationship. Now, you want what another person wants.
Since you're not creating solutions to your emotional problems, you allow other people to offer solutions that don't go with your character.
You'll be going out with somebody and you don't know what you want. There are women who meet a guy and do whatever the guy does. They eventually become the guy.
You lose yourself in the relationship. Don't let the chemistry that you have with a guy overcome the lack of compatibility. Sometimes, we want a person to be in our life no matter what. We're not conscious of that self-destructive nature of ourselves, but we act upon it through justifications.
You say that he drinks, but you can help him change.
You have to guard against your imagination. Find out what kind of guy you really want. What kind of traits do you want him to have? What kind of traits do you absolutely not want him to have? What are the traits you're willing to tolerate? Have it in your head so you have an internal guidance system that will be based on what you want and not what other people tell you.
There's nothing wrong with thinking, but when you think about somebody obsessively, you become irrational. You start to see what isn’t there anymore.
Always judge people based on context. Look not only at what they're doing now, but what they've done in the past. When things become emotional, we tend to forget to do that.
If you don't control your imagination, bad things will happen. You make bad decisions. You won't evaluate the red flags and incompatibilities.
Guard yourself against the things you fear and the things that you get excited about. Be very careful. These things will fool you. You could end up making irrational decisions if you don't guard yourself.
Control your imagination and always look at the facts.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.