Let’s talk about why you want to be desired instead of being possessed. We want to be possessed by somebody so that we can finally surrender, open up and let go of the adult exterior and regress to our childhood phase. However, that only works with maternal relationships.
When it comes to adults, when you know you have someone, you tend to take them for granted.
The desire to love and have a partner inherently comes from our desire to reach goals. It comes from our reward system. We are always striving for more.
After you achieve a goal, you tend to look for something better. If it seems like the goal is only one step away, you try to keep working for it. If you think that the goal is so far away, you might give up. What keeps you working is hope.
The goal doesn't feel as important after you’ve already achieved it. It's the same as wanting to conquer someone.
When it comes to being with someone, we cannot give them the notion that they possess us. We have to keep them in the shadows. You're not playing games. It's about not letting a man consume your life.
You have to control how much you expose yourself to people. Feeling that a guy can know everything about you, and he'll accept you for it, is wrong. That's just your fantasy. People love conditionally. With men, you have to make them consistently ask this question: does she still like me.
You cannot let a man fully believe that he has you. If you do, he's going to lose interest.
What you have to do is learn to show interest the right way. Be good to him, but have a hint of coldness. Make the guy think to himself that he doesn't fully have you. It will be the greatest move of all time.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.