A client started dating a guy 4 years ago. At first they were very close. They moved in together and had a child. He then had to move back to his home.
They got engaged later on. However, when he went back from out-of-town, he seemed to change. He started acting weird and distant towards her. He would take a while to text back. He doesn't spend as much time with her anymore. Now, they're no longer engaged.
Spending too much time with someone actually makes them appreciate you less. If she wants to spend more time with him again, she needs to pull away from him first. She needs to look busy for the next two weeks.
Let the guy miss her. She needs to start being more self-reliant and not be too dependent on him.
We grow too comfortable when something is always there for us. He always knew she was always going to pick up the phone and be there. He took it for granted. It was not his fault. It was hers.
She didn't properly manage her presence around him. This is because she was using him for emotional fulfillment. He fixed her anxieties and she wanted more of that.
She should never accept less than what she wants. Sometimes we accept less than what we want because we feel that standing up for ourselves would make us lose the other person. Unfortunately, that is the price that we have to pay in standing up for ourselves.
Right now, she needs to withdraw all her attention from him. She needs to take a break from him. She has to create some distance and make him feel that she's withdrawing.
She needs to sacrifice a little bit of instant gratification. When she sees him, she needs to give him a handshake instead of a hug. She needs to start speaking to him politely instead of romantically.
She can ask him to take care of their child for a night because she'll be getting some drinks with her friend.
It wasn't too long ago when they got engaged. However, the thing about emotions is that they are always in flux. They're not static. People can feel one thing today and feel different the next day. It's one of the hardest things to understand about people.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.