The signs of people's character aren't in the first impressions that you get. It's over a long drawn-out dose of a person's personality that allows you to see who they really are.
One of the signs is understanding the patterns in their past, the quality of their decisions, how they solve problems, how they delegate work, and how they work with others.
These will tell you more about a person's character rather than how they treat you directly in one occasion.
The most important way to test people's character is over time. This is why you need to be patient. You need to stop trying to speed up the process. It has to be something where you have to take your time. No matter what people say, their character will always show over time.
The self is always coming through. It doesn't matter how hard you try. Your character will show over time, especially during hard times. Maybe they disappear when things get intimate. Maybe they stay arrogant and charming until you challenge them.
All of these things are a reflection of people's character. Knowing this, you could learn to look into their past to seek patterns. See how they fit their current situation. Use your understanding of the things they've done in the past and use it as your context to judge who they are in this moment.
Don't look at people's actions as an isolated incident. People never do things just once.
A lot of times, we go into people's lives new. We don't think that they have a lot of history. We think that what people are doing to us at the moment is isolated. We always fail to remember that maybe this is part of who they are. It allows us to judge them with more accuracy and deal with the blowbacks of our feelings being hurt.
See it as part of a whole.
Observe how people handle their daily affairs. If they’re late once, they might be late all the time.
Tell me how many things you do that you hope people don't pay attention to because it's part of a pattern. The people in the receiving end think that maybe this is just a one-time thing.
If somebody cheated on you, they might cheat on you again. If somebody dumped you and got back with you, they might dump you and get back with you again. People barely change. This is a very sad truth.
If they don't pay attention to small things, they will do the same with bigger things. If they're irresponsible now, they will be irresponsible later.
Look at how they deal with power and responsibility. When some people are given a task, they crumble. Some would rise to the occasion. Observe how they deal with responsibility. Observe how they deal with not being paid attention to.
Notice what they do when people aren’t around. Notice how their personality changes based on different kinds of pressure.
Pay close attention. The information is there. It's your fault you're not seeing it.
When people gain power, their true selves come out. They might feel entitled to treat others as different.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.