People wear social masks to conceal what they really are and who they really are but this mask has cracks in it. You must learn how to see through these cracks.
These cracks are in the form of the non-verbal - things they cannot control.
We are constantly getting signals from people. Everything that people do is a sign. The problem is that we're not trained to look for those signs. We haven't developed that muscle of observation because we are always self-absorbed.
Our self-absorption causes us to go inward and not read the signs that people are giving us. It's almost like you're shutting yourself off from the world and isolating yourself in your own my mind-made prison.
We have to learn how to see those cracks in the form of non-verbal communication. Using your rational mind to understand people doesn't work because people will send you mixed signals. Trying to read what people send you on the surface will confuse you. You will just assume that they like you.
You have to learn how to process the nonverbal cues visually. We're all so used to processing things with our minds that our natural ability to read people non-verbally has been lost.
Before we had language, we used to communicate using facial expressions, voice, and body language. You can see this with hunting tribes in Africa who are able to hunt just by looking at each other.
When hunting, wolves will use nonverbal cues like body language and voice inflection.
Non-verbal means not focusing on words. When you don't do this, you risk the potential for misunderstandings.
Learn first to quiet your mind. Let go of assumptions and attune yourself to people's moods.
Attuning means looking at the person's body language and mirroring them. Notice how they feel inside based on you mirroring their body language. Talk based on the other person's tone and notice in your head how it feels to be them.
In a weird way, you'll begin to think like them. You'll get a feel of what's going on inside the person's head. The reason you want to do this is to know how people are feeling right now.
This will allow you to find a person's baseline mood. Based on that mood you can evaluate differences, whether it's higher or lower, to find out if something may be wrong.
Open your senses and register the reactions visually.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.