This is a very important thing to understand because you usually don't know that somebody is using you until you look back and realize it.
When you find out that someone is using you, but you really like them, you don't give a f*** because you just want to be with them. It's all about how willing you are to detach yourself from this.
Sometimes, when you want something really badly, the scope of your vision is narrower. You're not really looking at the whole picture. You're not looking at the hidden cost of being with someone who uses you.
If you struggle with making the decision to leave or stay, it means that you're wrapped up in your own desires. It means that you have to think bigger.
Expand your vision from the moment and see how staying with this person will affect you in the future.
1. When someone is manipulating you, they will always use words to distract you.
An example of words that people use are vague promises. If you notice that you need to hear things from him in order to make you believe in him, that means you are not focusing on his actions.
You want words to distract you because you know that if you focus on his actions, you might see a behavior you don't want to see.
Sometimes you want to believe the guy because you don't want to lose him. You're thinking that you've already invested a lot of time and you’re dependent on him.
If the guy always uses sweet words to make you feel better despite the evidence, that means you're being used and manipulated.
2. He apologizes a lot.
The way he gets through you is not through his actions, but through his words. The way he wins you over is through apologizing.
3. You feel guilty a lot.
He blames you for the mistakes that he does. You notice that you're feeling guilty for where your relationship is. Sure, there are things that you caused but there is an uneasy feeling. He's the one that's messing up, but he is turning it around on you.
Let's say that he promises to hang out with you today and he doesn't hit you up. You then hit him up the next day and ask him where he was.
He says, ‘I'm sorry, I got busy. Why are you overreacting? Why do you always get mad?’ and then you apologize.
He begins to train you to not confront him. If you do confront him, you feel guilty because he throws it back at you.
If you notice that you’re constantly feeling guilty for s*** that's obvious to anyone but you, that's a sign that he's manipulating you.
4. You feel that you're not getting anything out of it.
You notice that you're giving and giving but he's not giving you anything in return.
These signs are very obvious. The problem is when you have very intense emotions to be with him. When you really like someone, you're going to be blinded.
It will be very difficult for you to believe in your mind. A simple thing to look for whenever your vision becomes narrow is noticing how indecisive you are. It is a sign of being used.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.