This is going to be a very interesting topic for people who has certain beliefs that being nice is good. Let me tell you why nice girls finish last and why nice girls aren't as nice as they seem to be.
Nice girls do finish last. They get taken advantage of but it's not because the world is evil, but because they put themselves in that position. People can have reasons to be the victim but it's never productive.
This is why being a nice girl doesn't help and why it makes it worst. This will also show you why you shouldn't trust nice girls.
There are 5 traits in nice girls that make them nice but in reality, it's not as good as it looks. The first one is they're more dishonest than honest.
They compartmentalized, they only focus on the good parts about them and hide their bad parts. Another thing is they give to get. People give to get something and when don't get something in return they feel entitled and wronged. Also, they have no boundaries and bad with relationships.
The opposite of a nice girl is an integrated woman. It means accepting all aspects of yourself.
To change; change your paradigm. Your paradigm is your road map of the world. Sometimes it doesn’t fit the times. Just like an outdated map. The paradigm will highlight all good aspects and not focus on the bad aspects that don’t fix it. And the bad part is that they are rarely updated.
These are the belief systems and they might be “if I hide my weakness, I'll get what I want and be whole”. When you notice that doesn’t work, you don’t change, you force it harder. You see the enemy which makes you go harder and with the false hope you get, you try harder because you see others “making it happen”. Their belief system doesn’t let them think outside of that aspect.
You can’t be yourself because of fear of abandonment and because of children’s egocentrism, everything that happens is for them.
So nice girls can’t be themselves because they see being themselves dangerous.
So your result is to fulfill a lifelong dream for safety… unhealthy attachment or not feeling like enough. So you might get a dog to compliment you more or a car to get looks but none of those things are you, you just do it.
So you just block people from actually getting to know you.
To a nice girl, validation from men is the ultimate form of approval. If she gets the attention of men, she’ll feel amazing. If men leave her (which men do because of nature), then she feels responsible. So you’ll do everything possible to get him in a good mood. You’ll see that you’re in that hole. You react because you believe it’s your fault he’s mad. That’s how you see life and how victims victimize others by never taking responsibility.
How to step out? Become aware of the need. Notice the type of behavior that feeling creates. Notice how you react to it, good or bad.
Ask yourself: What’s happening? What wants my attention now? What part of me is saying now? Don't judge. Just observe. Don’t try to figure out why. You’re not making it go away.
Stay conscious of your excuses that come from fear or else they’ll subtly make you react and become integrated into your self-image. Engage all of your senses in your everyday activities and be aware of facts, interpretations, and emotions.
Now you’re not needy. You’re more attractive by mere deduction.
Being The Victim is Never Productive
Why victims are the victim?
They learned that getting sympathy from other victims feel good. It does. You just sit back and get the sympathy. All you have to do is get yourself in that position. That feeling is amazing. When someone doesn’t give it, we get mad and resentful. We deserve sympathy. But the funny thing is that in order for that person to get to that place, they need to be around victims. Victims also attack as well as defend. They also give you sympathy because it reinforces your own belief of being the victim.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.