This is about the things you do in a relationship.
1. Selective honesty. Bring a man's guard down. Intentionally, you have to lose arguments from time to time. Create the reputation of an honest person.
If he sees you as stubborn, the arguments you have will be a lot stronger. They will be more intense because he knows that you are resistant. He knows that you are biased and you're not open-minded.
When a guy believes that you're not an open-minded person, you’re awakening his own stubbornness. During arguments, they would want to do something just to get one more point.
You want to be selectively honest because you want to create those arguments where you would say, ‘You know what, you're right.’
The next time there's an argument, he knows that you are not biased. When it is time to win an argument, he will actually listen to you.
2. Be silent for strategic purposes and not due to fear of confrontation. People are usually silent in relationships because they’re afraid of conflict. You don't want to do that because it sets a precedent where you don't really express yourself.
You want to be silent only for strategic purposes. When you know something that he did, you just let him keep going. Just stay quiet. Let the evidence rack up.
3. Do not appear hypervision. Don't let him notice that you're always looking at text messages. Don't let him know that you know everything that's going on. Let him think that you are naive.
He's going to leave evidence which will save you from the trouble of being deceived for years.
4. Drop defensiveness. Notice any time you get defensive.
5. If you want him to change, start small. Once you know that he has that habit and he's being reinforced, go in and change one more aspect. Change one thing at a time.
6. Don't appear too perfect. When you appear too perfect, you lose space to f*** up. I teach spirituality, but I show that I get angry sometimes.
7. Make a happy relationship your goal. Some people don't think about the dynamics of the relationship. They don't think about who is chasing who. How healthy is it? How much do you see each other? Who is capitulating to whom? How happy are you?
Have a specific focus for your relationship.
Create a happy relationship where you are not dependent on him financially, emotionally and spiritually. It's not about getting the guy, but about being happy.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.