-If you’re still walking around expecting the fantasy relationship along with your white and shining armored guy, then you’re not grounded in reality.
-You think that everyone is here to help. You think that people don’t have self interest. This is how children think because they lack experience. This type of thinking leaves you open to attacks and manipulation from very ruthless people, and in this case, men.
-You need to know when and how to be bad - this means learning how to redirect and conceal your intentions as well as deceive and, at times, use direct force.
-Put your self interest first or else you won’t be able to help others. The blind cannot lead the blind. There are times when you have to adjust your morality to find your own happiness.
-Realize that the reason you don’t stand up for yourself isn’t because you are too nice or moral, but afraid and you lack the internal fortitude to deal with conflict. Fear enhances the perceived power of your enemy and lowers yours. In your mind, rather than confront the person, you take your losses to keep everything in order.
-Your defensive shield becomes the desire to be liked. You must stop this. Put down your armor and take some hits. Feel the pain.
-Feeling pain means being willing to displease people, and be there without losing self-esteem. They don’t define you anymore, so you don’t react. They have no control over you. This requires experience and that means dealing with pain DIRECTLY.
-As a result of dealing with conflict directly and not being unhinged and not being afraid to get hurt, you send signals out into the world that you’re not to be fucked with. That there are dire consequences from messing with you.
-Realize that when someone doesn’t get this signal, they’re going to attack and attempt to control you for their own self interest. This world is competitive, and it hides its competitive nature with a false act of kindness and humility to deter you from their true nature.
Realize that what will separate you from the evil, ruthless people, is you not acting REACTIVELY. You are conscious. You have control. The other people who attack you are guided by fear.
You must recognize them in time because they are easily disguised.
Robert Greene says “These types are masters of disguise.
They present themselves as weak and helpless,
or highly moral and righteous, or friendly and ingratiating.
This makes them hard to pick out at first glance.
They send all kinds of mixed signals - alternating between
friendly, cool, and hostile - creating confusion and conflicting
If you try to call them out on their behavior,
they use this confusion to make you feel guilty,
as if you were the one who was the source of the problem.
Once you are drawn into their dramas, with emotions engaged,
it can be very difficult to detach yourself.
The key is recognizing them in time to take appropriate action
-With these, don’t get emotional or respond with passive aggression, you’re doing what they’re doing and they’re good at it. The way to deal with them is to take strong, direct action and DON’T COMPROMISE. They only respond to signals of power and leverage, as Robert Greene says.
“To recognize such types, look for extremes in behavior that are not natural - too kind, too ingratiating, too moral. These are most likely disguises that are worn to deflect attention from their true nature. Better to be proactive and take precautionary measures the moment you feel they are trying to get into your life”
When you feel that people are taking advantage of you
Conceal your intentions, and don’t try to fight them. Bait them into action. That will make others sympathize for you.
For example, let's say you are a dad on child support and your baby mama is BALLING WITH MONEY. Don’t try to fight. Look miserable, sad, and given up. The crowd will see you as an underdog and turn against her.
When you’re in a situation you can’t get out of like a job you hate or a person that is abusing you, LEAVE. Don’t bargain or compromise. Distance is important so that they don’t emotionally entangle you in their web. Don’t feel guilty. Make them dead as Robert says.
Key: Realize nothing is personal. People are dealing with their own problems. If you don’t take their attacks personal, you’ll see the truth, come out emotionally unattached and even enjoy the conflict because you are not invested in it anymore. You have detached.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.