Why does a guy send mixed signals?
1. He’s protecting his ego. He doesn't want to get rejected. He feels that if he shows interest, she may lose interest in him. That happens a lot, especially when guys are a little insecure.
Sometimes you're afraid of the girl rejecting you so you act like you're not interested.
Men send mixed signals because they don't want to come across too needy. They believe that if you think that they really like you, you'll stop being interested. Even though it might be partly true, his belief doesn't come from a simple understanding, but out of fear of being alone.
2. He is unsure about you. He doesn’t know if he really likes you. Also, he may have other options and is uncertain as to which woman he's going to pick. He might find you attractive, but not enough for the decision to be a no-brainer.
The uncertainty makes him do the things that he does.
3. He’s not interested in you, but he just likes to flirt. He might be sending mixed signals because he might just be interested in flirting for the ego boost, but is not willing to go out with you. He'll be the guy who only keeps it friendly, and texts all the time but never asks you out.
I think of this as being maniacal because it shows a lack of sensitivity to the other person. A lot of women also flirt just for the ego boost.
Mixed signals only work when you’re not willing to walk away and when you’re passive about the whole interaction.
When you really want this to work out, the mixed signals are going to f*ck with you. You are attached to the outcome. You’ll tend to overreact to any signs that he's giving you.
The willingness to walk away isn't something that you do. It's something that you think. It's a belief system that you have about yourself and about the world. When it's part of your belief system, you'll be able to communicate it with the guy in a subtle way.
What do you do about this?
1. Ask him out. Say, ‘Me and my friends are doing this. Would you like to tag along?’ or ‘I'm going to do this at this time, wanna tag along?’
You're not directly asking him out on a date.
Ask him to hang out with you twice. That's it. If he's busy the whole time, you say look 'You're busy, I'm busy. Maybe this cannot work out.’
As a guy, when we see that you're calling our bluff, we're going to have to make a decision.
He might say that he is free at a certain time. He might also say that it's cool, in which case you're saving yourself the trouble. A lot of what I teach is about saving yourself from the trouble.
2. Let's say he decides to hang out with you. Next time, don't ask him out. Let him ask you out. He already knows you're interested. It's ok to be needy and to chase as the first step but don't do it all the time.
If he doesn't ask you out then he's not really interested.
Just because he's flirting with you over text doesn't mean he likes you. Women damn well know that they text guys just to text. It's an ego boost.
Texting is a bridge to meet up with a person. It’s not a way of getting to know someone.
3. Deal with a guy's mixed signals by regulating your own emotions. Be present in the moment. Observe your breath. Observe the reactions that arise when you receive mixed signals.
Turn that into a spiritual practice.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.