I'm going to talk about the mindset that will make men fall in love with you. This is the mentality that you need to have to allow men to feel your value. It will allow you to meet and date men without going through the pain and frustration of dating.
The mindset I'm referring to is high intention low attachment. I learned it from the book The Success Principles by Jack Canfield.
When I talk to a girl, in my mind, I’m thinking that I want her. I have desires for her (high intention).
The attachment depends on your mentality. You're going to have high attachment if you're trying to find happiness in the interaction. When you're talking to a guy, underneath your conscious awareness, there is an underlying thought of, ‘I want this to work. If it works I'm going to leave feeling better about myself.’
It causes you to be attached to the outcome. You become fearful. You become more insecure. You begin to see things that are not even there.
Your personality changes because you feel like your emotional state is at risk if the guy doesn't like you back. You feel shitty because you're going to have high intention high attachment.
High intention low attachment is this: I want her, but it's ok if she doesn't want me because I have other sources of happiness. I'm going to be persistent but without the neediness and the gravitational pull to have her in my life to make me happy.
That's where the problem lies. You convolute your desire for a guy with your desire to be happy vicariously through him.
The key to this is not changing your mentality from high intention high attachment to high intention low attachment. It is to be aware of the pattern first.
Notice the pattern of you looking for happiness in men. When you bring awareness to it, the pattern stops. As soon as you become aware of it, the pattern won’t control you anymore.
A lot of times, we're not aware of those patterns because we rationalize it. We tell ourselves that we're doing it because we just want to have fun. Deep down you're doing it because there's a hole inside of you.
When you notice yourself putting a lot of attachment to the interaction, you separate fact from fiction.
Guys are going to feel that. You're going to be less intense and less needy. You do this simply by shifting your awareness from your thoughts to the sensation that you're having.
Get grounded by feeling a physical sensation within your body. You'll be able to interact with the guy without putting in your insecurities.
Notice your desires and the attachment you have for his messages. Rather than pushing this away, shift your attention from thought to a physical sensation such as your feet, your arm, your breath, or your whole body.
You’ll have high intention and low attachment naturally.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.