When I was hanging out with my mom and my nieces, I noticed that there are traits that I don't like in people. When I was younger, I used to get mad at people for having certain personality traits. As I started growing older, I began to notice that you can't change people. People are who they are.
Conflict arises when you try to change people. Conflict arises when you try to forcibly change the way they think and feel. Even though you might be right, you're doing it wrong.
People will resist the change. They're going to develop an ego around their sense of self. You're telling them that who they are is flawed. The only person who needs to realize the flaw is them and not you.
When you see something you dislike in people, it annoys you because you want them to change. It’s not about changing people, but understanding them. You have to understand why they feel the way they do.
Think about the core reason which may have pain behind it. What tends to happen is that you would miss it and you end up acting based on your ego to prove them wrong.
Take a second to see where people are coming from. When you understand them, you can maneuver around them. People try to change people with force. No, you have to be slippery. Realize who they are and create a strategy based on that.
It's not about changing people. It's about maneuvering around them just like the way water flows. Water doesn’t tell the rock to move. It goes around it.
Understand people for who they are. Understand their motivations. Correlate how one reaction relates to another.
Don't take things personal. When you do, you won't take time to evaluate and see their signs.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.