These are the secrets to attracting the best type of guys.
Focus on yourself to attract the right guys. You can only control the process, not the outcome.
Pretty much, the secret to attracting the right guys is about your self-esteem, boundaries and your expectations. It's not about looking better, having better things, being funnier or being a good conversationalist. You attract the self-esteem that reflects your self-esteem.
Teaching women new tips instead of how to have high self-esteem is treating the symptom, not the cause.
Observe what is motivating your behavior and actions. What is the intent of your actions? Needing a particular outcome means that it feels like something to you is missing. In reality, it’s a societal construct that you need to be in a relationship to be “full” and fulfilled.
Really, the problem is externalized and you are being diverted from the issue of what is going on inside of you. Seeking validation is an escape.
You will resent relationships if you go into relationships seeking happiness directly from the relationship; this creates a victim mentality over time and a mindset that perpetuates a vicious cycle in the future.
When 2 broken hearts/people with self-esteem/victim mentalities meet, they unite because they create an enemy of the world. This creates a dependent relationship. Signs are over insecurity, dependency, jealousy.
It’s the same thing as someone who has high self-esteem, a person on a different frequency will leave. You will have a physical reaction by not being attracted to that unconsciously and will find yourself more attracted to high-quality guys.
That doesn’t mean you won’t meet bad ones from time to time, it means you’ll leave quicker, you’ll be more intuitive to what you want. Become more present and derive a sense of self from the present moment.
Who you are is based on memories and preconceived roles and expectations but who were you before those roles were assigned. As a baby and over time there were many changes (ex. physiological) but your consciousness is still there. When you began to feel negative emotions and undergo various experiences, your current sense of self-developed.
Observe the emotions and be aware without attaching yourself to the thoughts that arise from them. Become aware of the physical sensations of your emotions. You will feel an “emotion” of low self-esteem but the story will not be there. It can manifest itself in different ways like being shy, afraid, holding yourself back, anger, but just observe it.
The more you experience an uncomfortable emotion in a relaxed way the more you can be okay with it. The feeling of low self-esteem comes from you suppressing it, then you make it stronger by giving it more attention. So just see it.
After a while, you’ll notice your actions become motivated from the presence and not fear. You’ll accept less of what you don’t want and derive a sense of self not from others’ reactions but from the presence and your relationships will improve.
Use mindfulness, meditation, and presence to improve self-esteem. Manipulation and flirting tactics work but won’t attract higher quality relationships like working on self-esteem and presence will.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.