Today, we're going to be talking about how to make your husband or boyfriend appreciate you, especially when they are sensitive when you open up to them and they act cold… how do you react? I will also tell you how to deal with disrespect since when we don't feel appreciated, we feel disrespected.
The power that they have of you and the power that you're losing is the feeling when you're standing up for yourself and you feel like you're gonna lose something.
This is all going to be based on the inner issues and having to use absence, create pain and sow confusion.
The core issue of why you don’t feel appreciated is that not being respected becomes part of your reality. You’re always being disrespected especially because you don't stand up for yourself.
Let's talk about accountability. No matter how wrong you are, be accountable. Now, what are the reasons why he doesn't appreciate you?
1. Conformity leads to content. You're making it too easy for him, you reward him and he doesn't have to fight for your attention.
2. Trying hard makes him feel bored because there's no challenge. There's too much certainty.
3. You have no edge and you're too one-sided.
4. A weak reality - his defensiveness might draw you in and you lose into his battle. You have to stay unreactive.
So what do you do when you open up and he gets mad?
1. When someone gets defensive, you got to be undefensive.
2. Go in it from a place of “i” and not “you”.
3. If you get defensive, observe it
4. Realize that the enemy is emotion. Get him to be relaxed. When he gets “mad”, have an intentional call and let him be quiet. The quiet will relax him.
And now, let's talk about your self. Know your boundaries. Boundaries are what you will or will not accept from people. Don’t accept too much and don’t accept too little. Tell him what you will accept and not and stick to it. He’ll respect you.
Create self boundaries, like what you expect from yourself and values which is what you like, what you don’t like, what you accept and what you don’t accept. Having this predetermined and sticking to it is key. In life being specific is key.
Be your own source of positive emotions. Tap into the energy inside you, not around you, as the source of your mood. Feel no spikes or lulls of self-esteem from any girl’s responses to you. You might gain or lose attraction, but this should not affect your sense of who you are.
Validate yourself, amuse yourself and have present moment awareness. Know what makes you happy and mad.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.