Whenever you feel shitty after somebody breaks up with you, you usually see an image of him not being with you. In reality, it's not that you miss him, but that you don't like how you feel at this moment.
The truth is that you don't like who you are. You are essentially saying ‘I am not enough. Please complete me.’ ‘This image I have of being with him is who I should be because it's the complete me.’
You feel complete when you're with someone. When you're not with them, you feel incomplete. That's all an illusion.
Whenever you feel shitty, all you have to do is ask yourself ‘Am I accepting myself at this moment?’ When you're walking around and the thought of that guy comes into your mind, you're saying 'I don't want this I want that.’
You're essentially saying ‘I want this image of who I am.’ This is what you should ask yourself whenever this happens ‘What would it be like if I could accept life exactly as it is?’ ’What would it be like if I embraced this moment?’
That doesn't just go into the moment. That goes into your thoughts. That goes into every aspect of yourself. It goes even deeper because this is where the real power comes in.
You have two ways of acceptance. One is mindfulness where you are observing your sensations. You're observing what's going on inside of you. You're observing the pain you're experiencing.
That's normal because that's where most people stay at. They observe the pain and they say I feel trapped.
You are missing something. When you observe the pain, that is how you first become liberated.
The next reaction is when people feel the pain, they try to push it away. When you do that, the ego goes through the back door. What you should do is, rather than pushing away the pain, you have compassion for it.
Whenever you see yourself wanting the person, you tell yourself ‘What part of me wants them right now?’ You look at this part of you almost as though you're looking at it from a third person's perspective and you have compassion for it.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.