Strong bonds can only be attached to someone with pain. For example, think of the person who you love the most - anyone who you loved a lot. If you notice the people you never got over, you'll notice that they were the ones who inflicted the most pain.
Think of the times when somebody let you down and you're still their friend. Think of the times when somebody hurt you, but you still stood by them. You'll notice that those are the people that you remember the most. They're the ones you like the most.
Humans create a bond amongst each other when they suffer together in one way or another. If you have a relationship where you never argue, it's not as addictive as a relationship that has some kind of struggle.
In order to make somebody deeply in love with you, you have to hurt them in one way or another. If they don't feel pain on your behalf, they're not really going to go to you.
You want to become the venom and the cure. They're going to see a whole range of emotions from you. When they're angry, they're going to think of you since they felt angry because of you. If they're feeling sad, they’ll think of you because you've caused sadness to them. If they feel happy, they'll think of you because you’ve brought them happiness.
Since we're nice, we missed out on the times when we really wanted to be honest. Somebody let us down and instead of calling them out on it, we let them get away with it. We didn’t show a little bit of harshness. We didn't tell them not to mess with us.
The problem is that when you let people do whatever they want with you, without giving them harsh consequences, they won’t respect you. You've got to give people harsh consequences. Let them know that if you do this, there's more coming to you.
When you show them that you’re willing to inflict pain, it forces them to put down their self-esteem. They know what you did, but because they like you they’ll come back to you.
In order for this to work, you cannot do this in the beginning. You have to do this when things are looking very good. Right when you think he is boyfriend material, boom, do that.
In the beginning, just do subtle things. Right at the fever pitch of attraction, when you guys are seeing each other a lot, that's when you have some leverage to do this because he'll come back to you.
You make somebody dependent on you by becoming their source of pain and their source of pleasure.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.