Today, we'll be talking about narcissists. The reason why I wanted to make this video is that I'm noticing that a lot of women talk about them. Narcissistic people will tell you their narcissist, at least the bad ones--but the good ones are sneakier.
Let's go in-depth about what a narcissist is, how to identify one, how they become one and how to deal with them. If you're in a relationship with a guy who's a narcissist, you got to end it because there's no other way around it.
So how does a narcissist become a narcissist? The most powerful tool to get into people's heads is to understand and influence them and usually, that ability is stunted and blunted by their self absorption. We all have a certain level of narcissism--a certain level of self absorption--some more than other. What separates narcissists from normal people is that narcissists does not have a self-image to rely upon when things go wrong. They use other people as their self-esteem and to rely upon their happiness.
From an early age, we rely on attention, we everything for attention and we crave validation. We can't depend on others for this so we learn to create a self-image that validates us from within. This helps us deal with our negative qualities and find a way to deal with them positively. When we feel down, we go to the self-image that makes us feel good about ourselves and it validates us.
Whenever we feel bad, all of a sudden our self-image comes back to rescue us. We remind ourselves we're important but narcissists don't have that because they never got to develop it.
With no self to retreat to, they are dependent on others for happiness and self-esteem. There's two types of narcissists :
Introvert Narcissists - they're inward and see themselves as superior. They have moments of great self-doubt and power. They can play roles because they don't have their sense of self. They're good liars.
If you offend them, they have to sense of self to retreat to so they attack you with rage, vengeance and self-righteousness. There's no help for narcissists and the best way to do is to leave them.
Some narcissists tend to focus their energy on their craft also but their deep worried on what in other people's minds. This disconnects them from their work and they suffer. Narcissists struggle with relationships, change jobs often, never really establish true recognition, attraction and attention to their craft. They result to artificiality creating attention.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.