People wear social masks to conceal who they really are. However, these masks have cracks in them. You must learn to see through these cracks.
These cracks are in the form of the non-verbal - things they cannot control. That happens to a lot of us.
Have you ever been around somebody you don’t like? Everything they do annoys you. The thing is that even if you don’t say it, because you feel annoyed, they will notice that in you through those cracks.
You’re going to have a veneer of politeness and niceness, but the moment you’re annoyed, they’ll be able to see what’s in your mind. We’re constantly getting signals from people. Everything people do is a sign.
The problem is that we’re not trained to look for those signs. We haven’t developed that muscle of observation. That’s because we’re always self-absorbed. The self-absorption causes us to go inward and not read the signs that people are giving us.
It’s like you’re shutting yourself off from the world and isolating yourself in your own mind-made prison. We have to learn how to see through those cracks in the form of non-verbal communication. Using your rational mind to understand people doesn’t work.
People will send you mixed signals. By just trying to read what people send you straight on like their words and their smile, you get confused. You just assume that they like you because you don’t want conflict. You just ignore it.
You have to learn how to process the non-verbal cues viscerally, not verbally. We’re all so used to processing things with thinking that our natural ability to read people non-verbally has been lost. It’s already in there.
Before we had language, what we used to communicate is our facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. It’s what animals do.
We have that ability as humans.
When I say non-verbal mode of communication, it doesn’t mean being mute. I’m saying that we should not only be focused on syllables and pure words. If you only do that, you’ll be inviting problems and misunderstandings.
You'll be losing out on the opportunity to influence people because you’re causing misunderstandings consistently.
You must first learn to quiet your mind, let go of assumptions, and attune yourself to people’s moods. Looking at the person’s body language, and in a way mirroring them, notice how they feel inside.
In a weird way, you’ll begin to think like them. You get a feel of what’s going on in that person’s head.
We discuss this in greater detail in my course.... click here.