How to Remain Rational When You Like Someone
A lot of you guys when you like somebody goes completely out of control. First, remember you are pretty much an emotional animal at the end of the day so feeling an emotion is a normal thing. But your conscious self is not the one directing your decision-making for the most part so before you like somebody you are still under control, the problem starts when you like somebody and you start to feel those pleasurable emotions that are intense will completely hijack your brain. So you must learn to control these emotions to think straight and make better decisions.
Your goal isn’t to learn how to act more attractively but to make sure you don’t self-sabotage but act too needy turning the person off. So you wanna find out your automatic response and learn to control that aspect. And when you start to do that people will start behaving differently around you. And these are the things you can do.
The first thing you can do is control your fantasies because these fantasies can make you lose control if you entertain them. This will raise your expectations and flood you with emotions. And that’s why you should control it because when your fantasy hardened and the emotions you feel towards a person are gonna be harder to take out. The way to do this is by thinking negatively and being rationally pessimistic controlling your expectations.
Emotional responses are sent by the amygdala and sometimes the signals are so strong you are not able to think straight. So what you want to do is be able to program in your mind behavior to act when you feel that sense of emergency which in this case is losing somebody or the excitement of getting them. You have to control those emotions.
So the main reason why you lose that sense of self is that you can’t control your emotions. There’s a certain type of thinking that makes it hard for you to control yourself and that’s short-term thinking. Short-term thinking will grow irrationality while long-term thinking promotes rationality. Focusing on a long-term goal of how you want your relationship to be and believing in that goal helps you control yourself when you get needy.
Another thing you can do is whenever you feel that emotional neediness don’t run away from it thus observe the sensation. Use the moments of neediness as a spiritual practice. Learn to meditate and bring awareness to the physical sensation.
Learn to apply present-moment awareness, observe the neediness, and the desire to get that person’s attention, and tell yourself it’s okay. And accept that neediness rather than rejecting it and you notice that those emotions eventually will be transmuted to peace.