Joke of the day: What is Dj khaled’s favorite number? 11, because it has another one.
Note: This article is 3211 words, you download the pdf here and save it for later.
I thank God the first day that Ty Lopez recommended that I read the book, “Total Recall, My Unbelievably True Life Story” by Arnold Shwarzenegger.
One of the best decisions I’ve ever made! Since I’m always looking for things to relate to pickup, this book was a fucking gem and I’m going to put on deck everything that I learned.
As a result, this is the first series of articles on the insights I gain from reading the world’s most successful individuals.
With that being said, lets get started!
1.Make a compelling future
In the weeks that followed, I refined this vision until it was very specific. I was going to go for the Mr. Universe title; I was going to break records in power lifting; I was going to hollywood; I was going to be like Reg Park. The vision became so clear in my mind that I felt like it had to happen. There was no alternative; it was this or nothing. My mother noticed right away that something was different. I was coming home with a big smile. I told her that I Was training, and she could see I found joy in becoming stronger.
Before reading about Reg Park, Arnold knew that he was not cut out for the normal life. He knew that if he wanted to be happy, he would have to life an extraordinary life. As a result, he was hungry. He was looking for something he could master and get famous at it. His mind was open.
When Arnold read about Reg Park story, he became convinced that he can do it too. He didn’t say “Oh, it was all luck”. Fuck that. He saw that he was a regular guy. Just like you and me.
The secret to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s success was his ability to envision his ideal future. He believed that if he could set his mind to something, he was going to achieve it.
As a result, his mind was always looking for something to believe in.
What do you look for? Do you look for reasons not to believe? Do you suspect that everyone who teaches pickup is a fake? A liar? a scam?
Even though there’s validity to this point of view, it isn’t productive. You’re always questioning every aspect to convince yourself that getting good with women is not possible.
If you see someone getting good with women, instead of asking, “is this real?”, ask, “how can I make that a reality for myself?”
When he finally saw that he can do it, he made a vision of what he could do. He didn’t go for the low hanging fruits; no. He reached for the stars!
He didn’t give himself any alternative. It was either succeed or die trying. How do you know you’re on the right path?
Two things: 1) If the vision excites you and 2) if you get excited from taking the steps to reach your goal. Whenever you know that something’s going to happen for certain, it’s natural to get excited. That’s how you stay consistent; knowing that the steps your taking will guide you towards your intended goal.
The vision was so clear that it feels as though he got it. Is that how you feel? Do you feel uncertainty at the thought of achieving your goal? IF so, that’s normal. Don’t feel bad. All you have to do is make a vision, find a role model who went through the same circumstance, and do as they did.
It became an obsession for him. He was hanging up
2. Be relentless in tackling your sticking points!
To be successful, however, you must be brutal with yourself and focus on the flaws. That’s when your eye, your honesty, and your ability to listen to others come in. Bodybuilders [men or puas] who are blind to themselves or deaf to others usually fall behind.
Most people shy away from confronting their weakness because it means pain. But Arnold knew that if he did what everyone else did, he would get the exact results they got: mediocrity.
Want to know if you’re going to be mediocre with women? Simple: if you’re doing what everybody else is doing, you’re on a path to mediocrity.
Are you self loathing? Are you not approaching the groups of women that make you feel uncomfortable? Are you avoiding challenges? Are you just looking for fast and easy results? Are you afraid to fail in front of your friends?
Fuck that. Go for the hard sets; fuck up, and let people see you get blown out. It not only builds character, but it increases your tolerance to pain. The best pickup artists are not those who know how to succeed, but those who know how to fail and do it with a smile!
Arnold also knew that he was at a genetic disadvantage. He knew that his calf muscles were slower at growing than everybody else. So what did he do?
He didn’t bitch about it. He didn’t cry. He took that another challenge; another opportunity for growth and exposed his weaknesses to everybody else by exposing his calf muscles. He wore long sleeved shirts and pants that went up to his ankles so he could see his weaknesses. Why? Because he knew that he was going to overcome it.
Its easy to tell the world you were broke at some point because you already overcame it. But it takes tremendous faith tell the world you’re broke, and that you’re going to become rich one day.
Only those who have certainty and know that they’re going to overcome their challenges are willing to put themselves out there.
Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure, if taken as feedback, becomes your best teacher; the real guru of pickup.
3. Learn the art of effortless effort
As you move pose to pose, you have to visualize yourself as a tiger, slow and smooth. Everything smooth. And precise, without ever looking as if you are straining, because that too shows weakness.
Arnold understood the power of effortless action. Have you ever seen a martial arts movie and the bad guys that would inevitably lose are always putting in the most effort. They’re straining their faces more; they are stiffer, and their movements are wider. On the other hand, the good guy is relaxed and almost bored. It looks like he’s not putting in any effort.
The same applies to women: it’s not that you don’t put any effort, its giving the appearance that you’re not putting in any effort.
Don’t get it twisted. I’m not saying to put in the effort, it’s about the appearance of effortless effort.
It’s letting go of the outcome and knowing that you are enough. It’s understanding that the outcome will not dictate who you are as a person.
It’s understanding that you are your own source of positive emotions rather than needing her validation to feel good. But but how do you do this?
I advocate the power of meditation to let go of neediness, but is there another way to achieve this?
Arnold does not use will power, as in trying to think himself to be cool or suppress his nervousness. Instead, he uses images to relax him and get him in the state that he needs to be in.
We do it all the time, but for the wrong reasons. When you see a girl, and get nervous, its because you’re seeing an image something going wrong.
Don’t let your mind control you. Use your mind to your advantage and see yourself succeed. See yourself as a man who’s relaxed and attractive. See it in your mind as you’re talking to the girl. You’ll notice that your state changes from nervous to relaxed.
Sometimes will power is not enough to make lasting change. Use the power of your subconscious mind to guide you to your inevitable destination.
3. Ask empowering questions
Seeing me [Arnold] pull off a $215,000 deal left my old friend Arnie Zeller in shock. For days afterwards, he kept asking how I had the balls to do it. He could not understand because he never wanted any risk in his life.
“How can you stand the pressure?… What if something goes wrong?” Problems were all he could see.
I caught myself listening. “Artie, you almost scared me just now.”… “Don’t tell me any more of this information. I like to always wonder in like a puppy. I walk into a problem and then figure out what the problem really is. Don’t tell me ahead of time.” Often its easier to make a decision when you don’t know how much, because then you can overthink. If you know too much, it can freeze you. The whole deal looks like a minefield.
What’s the difference between Artie who never came close to Arnold’s success and Arnold? Arnold asked empowering questions and Artie asked dis-empowering questions.
Notice how his friends response to his success is “what if something goes wrong?”. Arnold didn’t ask those questions. Notice how Arnold actually got scared when he started listening to his friend. Questions elicit certain emotional responses.
If you’re feeling scared of approaching a woman, what questions are you asking yourself?
Remember the 3 second rule? Don’t think, just approach. That’s how Arnold became so successful. He only saw what he wanted and went after it. The details would fill in as problems arise.
If you see a woman, don’t listen to those dis-empoewring questions. Just act. I know its difficult to do that, so here are some ways you can overcome that
1) Ask empowering questions. If you feel nervous, notice the questions you’re asking yourself and change it for an empowering question. Not trying to think of the questions causes you to pay more attention to them. You can ask, “what if she’s my next girlfriend?” “What can I learn dispute the outcome?” This helps your mind focus on growing and not on avoidance.
2) The 3 second rule: Remember what he said “I like to always wander in like a puppy. I walk into a problem and the figure out what the problem really is. Don’t tell me ahead of time” He understands the power of over-analyzing things. Your mind is trying to protect you. It’s normal. The issue is that function does not work for success in life. It works for survival.
4.Don’t listen to the naysayer
How many times have you heard: you can’t do this, you can’t do that. It has never been done before. I love it when someone says that no one has ever done that before, because that means that if I do it, that means that I am the first one that has done it. Pay no attention to people that say that it can’t be done.
5. Give your pain a meaning
“Arnold never, ever had an angry look while he was training…. He’s always smiling… What must be inside his head? What must he know about his future that he is always smiling?”
I [Arnold] thought, “This is brilliant… All I would say is that I find joy in the gym because every rep and every set is getting me one step closer to my goal”
Arnold never had an angry look when he was training. He was always smiling. Why? Because he knew where he was headed. He knew with certainty that he was on the right path. He said that “I know that every rep and every set is getting me closer to my goal”.
The reason for his optimism was his focus. He understood that pain was part of the process. If he felt no pain, there was no gain.
If you don’t feel pain in game, you’re not gaining. If you don’t feel that your ego has been trampled on time after time, it means you’re not pushing yourself hard enough.
But it doesn’t end there. The only way for you to withstand the pain of growing is giving your pain a meaning.
In the book, “A Man’s Search for Meaning”, the author retells the story of haulocust survivor. He states that the ones who survived were the ones who gave meaning to their pain. The ones that knew they had a purpose they had to accomplish.
Their purpose varied from children, career, to their love lives. The point was that they kept seeing in their mind’s eye why this pain was important.
Going through pain and not giving it any meaning will cause you to lose motivation. That’s why I kept gaming dispite getting rejected. I knew that I was going to make it. I knew that I Was going to break through sooner or later.
Are you focusing on what’s going wrong or are you focusing on your inevitable outcome of success and triumph? That all depends on the images you’re seeing in your mind.
6. Don’t use will power. Use the power of your imagination
“I started visualizing myself instead as lean and athletic. And all of a sudden what I Saw in the mirror no longer fit. Seeing that helped kill my appetite for all the protein shakes and all the extra steak and chicken I was used to. I pictured muself as a runner rather than a lifter, and changed around m whole training regimen to emphasize running, bicycling and swimming rather than weights.”
If you want to tackle a sticking point by changing the image you have of yourself to the person you want to be, change will be effortless. When Arnold wanted to lose weight, he pictured himself as a runner, and lean. When he wanted to get bigger, he pictured himself as a strong muscular man.
If you want to get more women, picture yourself as a man who gets a lot of women. This will help your mind direct its focus on giving you that. Your mind will provide you with the motivation, the ideas, the curiosity and all the necessary resouces to make this happen.
That’s why Arnold was able to instantly change his diet by simply changing his self image. The diet that he had for years was all chagned in an instant as soon as he began seeing a slimmer Arnold.
7. Make sure that your goal excites you
The goal had to be something that made total sense and that I could look forward to every day, not just something I was doing for money or some other arbitrary reasons.
Make that goal something you want to do. This is why you have to go for what you really want. If getting a girlfriend doesn’t excite you enough to take action and plow through your sticking points; aim for higher. Ask yourself: what type of lifestyle would I need to have in order to feel excited at the mere thought of attaining it?
If you’re not obsessed with the outcome, then your mind won’t give you the strength and creativity to make it happen. You’re not going to revolve your life around that specific area. If you notice the best in the world at any area, they’re usually the most obsessed about it.
8. Treat yourself like the man you’re meant to be
I was born to be a leading man. I had to be on the posters, I had to be the one carrying the movie. Of course I realized that this sounded crazy to everybody but me. But I believed that the only way you become a leading man is by treating yourself like a leading man and working your ass off. If you don’t believe in yourself, then how will anyone else believe in you?
Arnold knew that nobody was going to hand him success and nobody was going to believe in him.
Most people will project their dis-empowering beliefs upon you. There’s no malice intent, but because that’s what they believe.
But Arnold knew that wasn’t the case. He understood that he had to treat himself like the person he wanted to become. So let me ask you this: are you treating yourself like the man you want to become?
For me, I know that I’m going to be rich. I know that I’m going to have an abundance with women. And because of that, when a girl rejects me, I don’t let it get to me. I borrow abundance from the future by knowing that this is only temporary.
I know that this is part of the journey. I don’t allow myself to self loathe. I know my future self wouldn’t do that because my future self is confident and strong.
9. Make your weakness your strength
The effect was the opposite of what the Hollywood agent had warned. I was making my size, accent, and funny name into assets instead of peculiarities that put people off. Before long people were able to recognize me without seeing me, just by name, or by the sound of my voice.
An Austrian immigrant who didn’t jnow english and who had a funny name made the likelihood of Arnold becoming the highest paid actor an unlikelihood. His accent was weird, his name is too long, but he didn’t let that stop to him. He used it as a strength.
He wasn’t asking himself, “why do I have this name?” (dis-empowering question). He was asking himself how he could use his name as an asset. If you ask long enough, your brain will give you the solution.
Also, the only way people were gonna see his “weakness” as an asset is by him first seeing it in himself.
What you see of yourself is what others will see in you as well.
IF you see a loser, people will see a loser. If you see a winer, people will see a winner.
But there’s a caveat: you must get through initial resistance. It’s going to be difficult to allow yourself to see what’s not there because other people will be telling you otherwise. You have to persist and ask with enough passion and desire in order to get the answer. It’s out there, you just have to be willing to ask until you get the answer.
If you’re short, don’t let that be a hindrance and see how you can use it as a strength. There’s always a side to every coin.
10. The last insight I got from Total Recall on picking up women was this: work your ass off.
All of the visualization and mental exercise he did would have been useless if it wasn’t accompanied with taking action. It’s that simple.
As we can see, self image is extremely important in learning and mastering game. Focus 10-15 minutes a day on seeing your ideal self and your ideal future. Feel it, use all your senses. Make it as real as possible.
This will totally change your life , just like it changed my life as well.
Do you have a bio that I should read next and analyze? If so, comment in the comment section below and if it intrigues me, I’ll ensure to read it and write about it.