Understanding these rules will allow you to get to know people for who they really are and not their appearance, to see reality rather seeing just a projection, and to learn how to create and maintain a connection with a guy.

1. The first rule is to not judge things based on their appearance. Never trust what you see with your eye. And always focus on people’s actions rather than their words. Why? Because when you learn to do this you will start judging people based on their behavior. Naturally human doesn’t change their view of the character of one’s person to suppress their fear. So what you have to do is don’t look at people’s public acts or the words they said, you wanna focus on their negative acts because this says more about the person.

Also, don’t let people’s innocence full you into letting your guard down. Looking innocent and harmless doesn’t always mean that they are. So always follow through because people are not always the person they show you.

Another way you can know people on a deeper level is by showing weaknesses and seeing how they react. Or maybe don’t call him out on the things he does the first time and see if he does it again. You can also show eagerness to see him and see how he reacts to your eagerness, does he pull away? These are the ways you can reveal the aggressive part of his personality because weakness brings out aggression in people. How people deal with your weakness says a lot about them. When you showed them weakness and they use it against you it says a lot about his true character.

You can also irritate them by challenging their belief systems, starting an argument, or disagreeing with them. All of those things will reveal their character. Be unpredictable through this you can make uncontrollable emotions come out. See his past, his ex he always talks bad about, his enemies, or even why he keeps getting fired. What you wanna do is not focus on his words but focus on his actions.

Naturally, we humans judge by appearances and what you wanna do is use it to your advantage. Learn to hide certain parts of your personality, weaknesses, or even positive traits and reveal that part over time. Revealing everything too quick says insecurity but revealing parts over time gives you more depth as a person and it is actually more attractive.

2. Next thing you wanna do is not let your emotions control how you see a person. Emotions guide us through our decision-making, not our intellect. That is why people don’t know how they achieved something because it was an emotional compulsion and not a rational thing. Each emotion causes us to be ready to act based on the general gist of the situation.

As humans, our encounters socially are not shaped by our rational thought of them but more by our emotional circuitry. So the way we respond to people is more about what we have experienced in life and based on what our ancestors have passed to us. So if your mind is consistently reacting to what is in front of you and it didn’t have the time to step back and realize that you are making quick judgments based on your insecurities and past then your strategies will be out of tune with the problems you’re targeting. Because you are not seeing reality but you are looking at them through projections.

So when you meet somebody and you judge them by your insecurities and they end up not being the person who you think they are it will be a setback that will destroy you from within. When setbacks happen you should learn to improvise based on your resources and long-term goals. You should not allow setbacks to stop you and understand that you’re gonna make mistakes but you can’t allow those setbacks to deter you. And every time this happens you’re gonna analyze your mistakes and prepare for the next person that you meet.

Let go of the past and stop looking for a certain person in other people. You have to learn and be more realistic about your expectations. Lower your expectations because a lot of times it affects your thinking so lowering your expectations gives a clearer picture of this person. And by doing this you align yourself with reality.

3. The last thing you have to understand is the pain and pleasure principle. So how can you apply this principle? Some way you can do this is always make your partner feel superior even though they’re inferior to you. Make them feel like they’re smarter or funnier than you because it’s a pleasurable thing for them. Making them feel superior even though they do not give you more control. Remember that the way a person reacts to your vulnerability is a big sign of how they feel about you.

Playing the dumb one makes them feel validated about their self-opinion and what you can do is all of a sudden break that pattern. Show strength and boldness and start to disagree with them. And that dynamic creates pain and pleasure.

Pain and pleasure are not just doing bad things it also means consistently making them feel validated and superior and breaking that pattern. Then showing your real strength, intelligence, and how independent you really are. And that causes them pain because it breaks their expectations.

You can also inflict them by being always consistent and suddenly acting inconsistent with that person. By creating absence and presence when you’re always there then suddenly you’re always busy. You give comfort through your consistency and then you break it. That creates a spark of attraction. This also creates respect because you respect what you can’t predict.