So one of my clients, that I was talking to, had a boyfriend and they were together for 1 year. Everything was great and they were ready to get married and she wasn’t worried but then, all of a sudden, one day, he packed up and he left. This is something confusing because when she was talking to me, she was telling me that everything was going great. So, why did the person pulled away?

It’s confusing as fck so I’m gonna answer why because it used to confuse me as well. The first reason is this: you’re not reading him correctly. If a guy broke up with you and it caught you off guard, it means that you’re not paying attention. You’re not paying attention to his signs that he doesn’t like you. You’re too much in your head. This should not be catching you by surprise.

You should always be aware of a person’s emotional state. What I’m saying is this: stop paying attention to his words and pay attention to his non-verbals. Start paying attention to your man’s behavior as a way of listening–not a way to understand or manipulate him, but as a way to listen to people.

Be aware of how he behaves today so that you know when there’s a complete difference tomorrow.

The second one is that you stopped trying. I’m talking about you stopped trying in terms of you took him for granted so you’re always there thinking that he’ll never leave you–you’re always needy around him, you stopped working out, you stopped going out with your friends, and you always spend time with him. You’re not learning how to create mystery–this is a big problem with men, you can’t be doing this. When you stop trying, guys will sense it.

The third reason is that his ex came back. This is when he liked you but in his mind, he had another woman who broke up with him and now she’s back. You can’t compete. You cannot compete with a woman from the past who left him. It’s not your fault because you didn’t know, if that’s the case then let him go because that ex has power over him that you can’t control. It is what it is. It’s the pain aspect. Pain causes almost a trauma-based attachment.

The fourth one is that he needs a break. He will come back. Most likely, he will come back and he just needs a break from you. Most likely, you’re just overwhelming him. And if you leave him the fck alone and you don’t chase after him and you don’t just start going crazy, he will come back. Most guys come back when they break up with you, they usually do.

Now, if he comes back we all know what’s gonna happen. You’re not just gonna take him back like he’s a fcking dog who just ran away. He’s gonna have to pay a price.

The fifth reason is that you were too needy and demanding. Maybe he got in a relationship with you and didn’t even know that it happens sometimes. Maybe, he senses that you want marriage or something more and sometimes, that scares the guys away. It’s better that a guy complains to you that you’re too distant more than you’re too needy. It’s better to be on the other side where you’re too distant as opposed to you being too needy–it’s much better. It’s a better problem to have.