Why Men ALWAYS Respond To Pain & Coldness
I talk a lot about this on my channel. I made 2 videos that specifically was focused on inflicting pain but we got a lot of subscribers and so I want to reiterate this. Ladies, men love pain and it’s not because they prefer that but because it’s what makes them chase.
It’s one thing what men say and it’s another thing what men react to. Think about all the past relationships you’ve ever had, the ones you want to get back, the ones with the loose ends are the ones who dumped you or the ones who treated you like shit. I’m not saying to treat people like shit but to understand the soul behind that concept. To understand what makes that concept real and not be like one of those angels and angel dating coaches who say “be nice, be the better person and turn the other cheek”. When you turn the other cheek, they’re gonna hit the other cheek.
Pay attention to how you act when you don’t like the guy. They’re usually eating at your feet. They’re usually the ones that are chasing you. Men will remember you more if you inflict pain and then give them pleasure. You see, it is the contrast between pain and pleasure.
What you need to do is very simple: you make yourself the only thing that will make him happy. you do that by taking something away, This is dark, people. By taking something away, you remove their validation, you flake on a date, you cancel on a date, you make them feel like a fool. It’s almost like they come back after you because you have something from them–their self-esteem.
The problem is when you like the guy, you’re not willing to pull the trigger–you feel bad and you don’t want him to suffer. You don’t want him to feel a little anxiety because you identify with him. You’re gonna feel that way, it’s like you’re looking at your child, you don’t want to punish your child because you don’t want to see that little child cry. Well, that little child is evil. If you let the little child take advantage of you, they’ll turn into little cartmans. Realize that that same guy who you’re trying to feel bad for is that same dude who, if you treat him too well, is gonna end up playing you.
Ladies, when you like the person you go easier on him, you forgive him quicker–and I’m not saying to be unforgiving, I’m saying you just got to use the concept of pain because when you like the guy, you don’t want him to suffer but when you like a guy you cause him to suffer but you’re nice and direct though but what you don’t know is that you’re inflicting more pain by being direct.
Look, ladies, I’m not advocating for you to be evil and mean. What I’m advocating for is for you to open the range and the flexibility to do other things.
Pain allows you to become more of the center of his life. Why? It’s because when something’s painful, we focus more on pain than on what’s good. We focus more on what’s bad in our life than what’s good in our life. So, we focus more on the relationships that have more conflict than other relationships that don’t have conflict. Also, we value the relationship that started with conflict and ended up being peaceful more than the relationship that has always stayed peaceful. It’s just how it is. We value it more because we like the thrill.
Now, I’m not saying to intentionally inflict pain on people. What I’m saying is to just keep that concept in your head because if you just limit yourself to being nice, I’m telling you, you’re gonna be boring and what’s gonna happen is that he’s gonna meet some evil-ass bitch out there and the pain that she inflicts is gonna be so great that he’s gonna forget about you.
What I want you to do is be conscious of your evil tendencies and know when to be mean. Know when to inflict pain, know when it’s time to pull away because again, as I said earlier when you like the guy, you feel bad for pulling away. Do not feel bad. When you inflict pain on people, they fear you because you have their self-esteem in your hands.
By inflicting pain, you’re gonna be more memorable. You remember more the painful things than the pleasurable things because it’s more traumatic but I’m not saying to always just be inflicting pain. I want you to be who you are normally. Be who you are but from time to time, you don’t feel bad from inflicting pain. From time to time, when it’s time to inflict pain, you do it with no regards for human life.
That’s how you’re gonna gain that power. Now, I’m not gonna say it’s healthy because for the most part, it’s not BUT that’s why he went back to his ex and not you. That’s why even if you treated him so good, he still went back to his ex–it’s because she inflicted pain, she has something that he needs. You are too nice, you are too angelic and he doesn’t see the contours of your shadow. Show him your shadow. Embrace your shadow. Learn when to be mean, fucked up and dirty from time to time, that’s gonna bring you more power.
Create an intimidating presence and that kind of presence, guys are gonna respect. Now, don’t go too far where you’re emasculating him because then, you’ll get turned off by him. It’s crazy how that works but that’s how it works.